Como trabajador de este fútbol hoy solo puedo sentir culpa

Solo puedo sentir culpa, por más que siempre he tratado de dar el máximo en mi vida como futbolista, tanto dentro de la cancha como fuera de ella. Estos momentos de desidia institucional y estructural solo generan sentimiento de culpa en mí.

Sí, definitivamente mi consciencia está tranquila, lo he entregado todo, pero no ha sido suficiente. Ahora entiendo que se puede hacer algo más. Declaro esto porque todo este supuesto: “lo he dado todo” en mi camino en este fútbol, hoy muestra que a lo mejor no fue suficiente.

Este artículo está en modo: descarga emocional. Por todo eso que se ha venido filtrando, en cuanto a las vicisitudes que están pasando mis colegas, los jugadores profesionales de los equipos en Venezuela. Cada día nos llega algún cuento trágico del estatus de vida de profesionales que lo han dado todo por este país y todo el trabajo que están pasando para poder llevar el alimento a sus familias. Personas que honran su profesión como ningún otro.

Sin duda, me hace sentir culpable estar en una situación más ventajosa. Me hace sentir culpable porque nunca he pensado de que se tratase de mí, sino del NOSOTROS. Mi filosofía de vida es: “deja las cosas mejor de como las encontraste”. Y eso, definitivamente, no está pasando. No hay algo mejor de cómo lo había encontrado.

Lee también de Ricardo Andreutti:

A medida que pasan los días, mis tentáculos se acortan, mi rango de alcance para agregar valor a mi entorno es cada vez más estrecho. Es más, pensaría que ya no es cuestión de agregar valor, sino proteger lo que queda. O a lo mejor, aferrarse a eso pequeños brotes de oportunidades y esperanzas. Cultivarlo con lo poco que nos queda a nuestro alcance.

Dentro del equipo soy el mayor, a lo mejor el único que queda de ese antes y después del «Boom Vinotinto» y de la Copa América que vivimos en Venezuela. He visto toda esa metamorfosis que ha tenido nuestro fútbol, ya han pasado quince años ¡Wow! Por eso trato de proteger lo más que puedo a los muchachos dentro del equipo. Trato de ser ese que no suelo ser en mi vida personal, ese que los aferra a tierra y le administra las trivialidades de ese hermoso e inconsciente deseo de volar. Porque soñar es lo más lindo, diseñar ese futuro que queremos es lo que más nos impulsa. Pero —y que vaina que exista el pero—, en nuestras circunstancias, esos pasitos hay que darlos más cortos y con mayor firmeza.

Se suponía que esta semana escribiría sobre lo hermoso que fue la final de la Champions, ¡qué partido para el recuerdo! Pero eso está muy lejos de nuestra realidad. Que es alcanzable: sí. Y para eso hay mucho que revisarnos. Hay mucho que cuestionarnos. ¿He hecho lo suficiente? ¿Di lo mejor de mí? Por lo que veo no ha sido suficiente. Y si no fue suficiente, ¿será que debo calibrar el termómetro de mi consciencia? Vaya dilema el que está apareciendo mientras escribo este artículo.

¡Qué lindo es vivir de lo que te apasiona! De lo que siempre soñaste de niño. Pero vivir, no sobrevivir. Qué lindo es dejar mejor el lugar donde viviste el sueño que siempre quisiste tener. Qué lindo es dejar huellas, no pisotear. Las cosas son como son, no como deberían ser. Mientras tanto, les aseguro que cada uno de esos futbolistas se seguirán levantando bien temprano en la mañana, con la pasión que nos caracteriza, para salir a honrar nuestra profesión. Yo solo puedo sentir orgullo y un honor grandísimo al llamarlos colegas.

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